a big trip to Pittsburgh to meet her family and cement my self in her life
a drink wont hurt my chances of making a good impression on her family
we've prepped already, tickets reserved, bags nearly packed
minds looking forward to the tumultuous greeting
of family who love the one i love, and likewise
a drink wont hurt its just a couple days away
i make way for her and she makes way for me
but
she divides a piece of herself
i drink
cuts it away from herself
i drink
dissects it away from herself
i drink
for me
but a drink wont hurt
there are too many things going on for people to notice
i drink anyway, because it makes me not hurt
even though when i wake up the hangover hurts my body
it feels good because it stays me from reality
a drink wont hurt her though
she is immune to collateral
immune to emotional lateral
immune to my
emotions
but she said im worth it
she said im worth it
she said im worth it!
... she actually said im worth it.
im worth it
what a useless sentence
unless some one else says it
my existence broken in half
one wants to drink
into oblivion
one wants to engulf my entire self
to exist in her
and a small part of me
wants to die
i havent known love for so long
its not just foreign
its offensive
and she offends me
so, so
often
she picks apart
the tattered ruins
of my thoughts
bludgeons through
my deep crept of deceits
and holds my hand
through the maze of mine own
but a drink wont hurt
i just need to loosen the wheels
of my ugly
of my hidden
which roll over
her head
crushing
everything she ever did
yet she always rises
zombie like
christ like
to live again
and deep inside
i know
my run
is running thin
but i cant forget
about her
she dominates me
and even though i welcome it
because i know she is better then me
i just need one more drink
to forget
everything
before
her
