She

I poke
I prod
I make the effort be alive
... to her

but my query in the search engine is blank
i have no answers

other than i love her

how can someone so foolish
who pushed away the one they love
bring it back to life

how can a man explain
that the choices made
were in vain

to himself.

at the precipice of being able to trust
i backed away
instead of jumped.

now i feel the wind of regret
beating my face with the memories
of what i felt
for you

i mourn my decicsion
as if it was my own death
because without her, without she
without you
i really am dead.

there is no
there can be no
there will never be no
for you
... except your answer to me

broken is having been damaged by something
but without you
i am shattered
like a glass cup dropped on the ground
there is nothing that could ever fill me up
as much as her
as much as she did

she is the definition of a woman
she is what i think about
she is who i want to be with
she is who i love

but
i threw that away
due to self doubt
and an inability to see
that she could make me
whole
that she
is the one
that she
is forever
my only one
and i destroyed that
to remain in my own
self doubting
solace of
isolation.

i am in love and will for always be in love with
she